On Our Mettle

They say life’s hard for the marginalized.  That the ordeals of being an outcast can get so unbearable it could make one’s life a misery.  Well, they’re right.

As gay guys from a hostile environment, we do know a thing or two about social exclusion – and it sucks.  But does this mean we have to constantly wallow in self-pity?  Is that all there’s to being marginalized?

When you know a lot of people are taking you as abnormal or sick, you’ve no choice but to prove to yourself – and to the people disrespecting you – that you’re healthy and no less than anybody else.

When your friends question your capability on whether or not you can function as other people in the society, you try hard to prove them otherwise.

Strangely enough, our cause of despair might very well end up being our source of determination. If we really think about it, this rejection is also challenging us to be on our mettle.

Don’t get it wrong, marginalization is not something to be welcomed or tolerated.  But when life presents it nonetheless, we shouldn’t just self-pity or seek the sympathy of others – that’s what losers do.

However, if we accept it as a challenge and reorient our mindset likewise, we will be better positioned to deal with the situation – that’s what would-be winners do.



#Be Unlimited

Our families will disown us, and friends will cut us off if we come out.  This urges us to seek love and acceptance from people in similar situations.

We mostly befriend and hangout with our kinds, in the hope that we’ll at least be able to enjoy what little liberty we‘ve amongst each other.

This is a common tale for most gays in homophobic societies.

What’s funny though is, as we begin to spend so much time in creating and keeping a space where we feel welcomed – in the process – we unknowingly start to limit ourselves in other aspects of life.

I’m talking about the stereotype that exists within our new circle.  We are expected to listen to pop and idolize pop-stars; to favor cocktail over beer; or we’re expected to blindly support the left wing and all of their agendas and the list goes on.

But wait, do we really have to limit our circle in order to fit in? Heck, do we even have to fit-in?!

Our desire for acceptance is for who we really are, not to fit into an oversimplified social stratum.  Being coerced to fit-in is what kickoff our ordeal in the first place.

There’s so much to be had and so much to experience in this world.  We shouldn’t let our thirst for acceptance take that opportunity away from us.

More precisely, our quest for acceptance shouldn’t detach us from who we used to be, or who we really want to be.  Let’s not waste time to be that “gay guy” people expect but, let’s take time to be ourselves and enjoy all the things out there.